Written simply because I can't sleep, so here goes my overflowing feelings.
Wish No. 1: For an entry to ITB
Electrical Engineering. That was the major I wanted to pursue for my Bachelor's degree and I wanted to go where I thought was the dreamland of electrical engineers — Germany. I started taking German courses at Goethe Institute while others were taking prep courses for college admissions. At that time, I felt like I was one of the most off-the-cuffs. No backup plan. Not much idea about what electrical engineers really do out there. All I had in my bag was an inspiration from creating an adorable tiny piano at an electrical engineering workshop.
Just one octave, but it works!
I was a wee bit late to realise that it was really important to have a fallback plan, in case I didn't get accepted at any university abroad. So I tried out for SNMPTN, an admission process adopted by all state universities in Indonesia based on academics and other achievements during high school period (as described here). Short story not shortened, I failed. Then the naïve me thought that I should try SBMPTN, also an admission process, but based on a nationwide MCQ test.
This is something that I didn't have time to prepare for, as I was having my German courses, 3 times a week, straight after school to around 9p.m. Hopeless, I decided to try the Novena prayers, 9 days in a row, and planted some votive candles on the church rack. Quoting myself, I proposed, "If I deserve to get to ITB, please ease my way. But if I don't, make me."
I bought an SBMPTN prep book — which remained sealed until 2 days before the test, when a friend of mine agreed to study together. We solved questions for around 3 hours and decided that there was no way to cram our brains with all those knowledge hodge-podge. Wisdom spoke and we decided to call it a day.
Long story short, I got into my first choice: School of Electrical Engineering and Informatics at Bandung Institute of Technology (ITB). Whoa. Ever heard of the unofficial alternate Harry Potter ending — "and then Harry woke up under the staircase and realised it was all a dream"? I still wonder if this will happen to me and my 4 years of study.
Wish No. 2: For survival and a decent GPA
What shocked me the most, was that we had to undertake one year of common preparation level. This means that after 1 year, we still had to enter our first hunger games — jousting for the major of our choosing. As mentioned above, I wanted to pursue my study in EE. But perhaps that is only real in another universe. I was introduced to an unconventional Pied Piper who lured me into taking Computer Science instead. But it didn't come easy.
Hell, my first programming class? I didn't know how to open the terminal. Thanks to the Angels of Seating Arrangements, a smarty beside me told me how it's done (thanks Josh). Also taught me how to compile my code. Judge me not, I had never compiled a piece of code in my entire life, not even in school. I still failed miserably here and there, and not just once.
That's when I decided that I needed help, and so a housemate of mine introduced me to her experienced friend. He suggested me to practice on this wonderful site, which afterwards made me stumble upon more sites like Codecademy, HackerRank, etc. This encounter with learning sites was utterly captivating, mostly because it was new to me. This, along with the tingling music from The Pied Piper's flute, subconsciously steered me into choosing Computer Science as my first priority. I somehow managed to get in, despite a crouching first year GPA: PI or 3.14 — which was relatively low compared to my peers.
Half semester into CS lectures, I thought that I might not be able to survive. I felt immense peer pressure from my bright classmates, I got around 3 down to 0 friends, and the only college experience I could put on my CV was selling doughnuts for fundraising (but I kid you not I'm damn good at it). It just happened that there was a public Novena prayer hosted by ITB's Catholic student union, and I joined. I asked for the mercy of 'survival', and also asked for a better GPA, because I wanted to neutralise the frequent Bs on my transcript.
Another prayer answered, I'm doing pretty fine right now, even got a 4.0 once. I'm not exactly on the top tier, but I survived three years of CS, gained more friends, and quite sure that choosing CS was the best decision I've ever made. I mean, the luxury of not being judged when I go to class looking like Medusa just got her hair cut? Love it. They say we can't fix anything with one hammer — here, we can try using just one laptop.
Wish No. 3: For a chance to work at an amazing place
This is probably the reason why I can't sleep right now. I'm afraid that if I wake up, the dream will be over. I got an offer for a summer internship at Google. It's weird writing this down because I myself am still in denial. Lord I still check my inbox every once in a while, to make sure that it was not hallucination.
A little background, I've only gotten 2 SE internships before, I'm definitely not a genius — my friends can testify, up till 2018 I still believed that goats eat paper because my sister said so. But like probably every other person I know, I tried to hand in my CV to Google Careers Page.
I was and am eager in searching for opportunity to grow and to make impact. I need to step up, because I see that it's gonna be a bonanza year — if not, decade — for the IT industry. Yes there might be a great demand for software engineers, but notice that the supply is also increasing, in terms of quantity and quality. This is why I think that I need to work harder.
So I sent my résumé to a few companies. Some got rejected right away, some got me an interview that went downright horrible. But I didn't stop. It is true that practice makes you.. not perfect, but it makes you look less like a crippled spider in front of a laptop, trying to code in buggy, typo-sprinkled C++, and can only make purring noises when asked about the algorithm complexity.
With the help of my extra patient boyfriend, I trained on HackerRank or LeetCode 2–4 times a week. Read some CtCI. Asked friends for mock interviews. Sometimes I'm satisfied when I solve the problem on time. Sometimes I have breakdowns and get upset when I'm stuck. Even once almost forfeited an interview because I didn't feel adequate. But as I was reminded again and again by my sweetheart:
"What's the worst that could happen?"
The worst that could happen is I perform bad, get rejected, curl up in bed and watch Netflix for a day — while my interviewer gets pissed, scribble down some harsh review, and grab some burger for lunch. Everyone moves on. This is what I cling on to whenever I'm nervous for an interview.
That fateful moment I got an e-mail saying that Google wanted to have a call with me, I was surprised. I checked and re-checked to make sure it wasn't a scam or some kind of phishing attempt. When I was convinced that it wasn't, I was even more surprised. Right away, I tagged more slots for practice. A day goes like: 1-hr commute, 8-hr work, 1-hr commute, and the remaining goes to either coding practice, mock interviews, side projects, or nothing (preventing brain from being grilled). Last but not least, Novena prayer. Wishing again, that if I deserve to get this internship, please ease my way. But if not, please, please, please guide me so that I do. And there it goes.
Seeing my name side-by-side with the word "Google" and "offer" is.. unbelievable
When failure comes and you need consolation, imagine someone saying this to you:
"Hey, everyone has their own timeline. So roll at your own pace."
"Hard work does and will pay off."
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. — Matthew 7:7